18 years old is where I would have been emotionally and in connection with my instrument at this moment in time.
If you’ve been reading my blog, to this date, you very well might be getting and understanding of who I am and the nature of human being i was destined to become and manifest.
This blog is actually nothing more than a eulogy to my life and time on the planet. No need for anybody to write anything, but i’ve no objection to you, or anyone else, sharing insights.
I was born to be a musician. But, I also wanted a family. Like most kids who want to be a fireman, a cop, a pilot, an astronaut, singer or dancer, I wanted to be a father and have a family.
I am a very lucky guy. I found a woman who consented to be on the family journey with me. And, we were blessed to have four healthy offsprings. Well, relatively healthy.
We lost one along the way at an early point in his brief life. Robin Nicholas brought so much joy and cohesion to our marriage that his loss at the age of 1 year and ten day is incalculable in my mind. The first midnight day without him left me in the darkest and longest night that questioned whether or not the sun would every rise again, whether or not there would be daylight dawning.
It did not dawn for what seemed an eternity. It’s unimaginable and incomprehensible. It is the point at which absolute zero exist, and time itself, ceases.
In that state for an eternity, it seems that it did come … evidently and eventually.
Family: my desire was seeing adultified children achieved in this lifetime, and when my life love and partner died, I was set free to pursue what i am, a musician.
At a later stage in life, knowing that time is limited in this sphere of the Universe, i asked what it would take to be what i felt i am: a musician who desires to be one of the best who has lived.
Four years old, that’s when it happened. I had total and complete understanding of where notes were on the piano. Any note i could think i could find and play on the piano. Any melody i heard i could see on the keyboard and play. That gift left me when i was around six years old. Maybe it was a marble game or a dog chasing me or something. Call experiencing life itself.
Thus, when i again pursuing my true nature, i put my mind in the state it was when i was four years old. Physically, i was and am not the same. But, the power is in the mind. Listen to Raul Midon’s in his performance of State of Mind. He tells you exactly what it’s about.
My progression since serious study and performance of music begana has been from that state about ten years ago. That got me to 16 years of age about 18 months ago.
When i was 16, playing drums, i found it. The place where in my heart and soul, i said i could to what i was doing (playing an instrument) until i die. Of course, i wasn’t accomplished as a musician at that point. And, perhaps, that will be the label that will characterize my state of evolution. i will be an accomplished musician. As such, i don’t envy virtuosity. Virtuosity is for those who are. They understand what i’m saying. For those who don’t, it’s about the Muse. Period.
Today, 9:11 am on my computer clock, marks the documentation (this note of) convergence of left hand and right hand relative stability on the finger board of my upright bass. That means the ability to find and play notes.
Paul Powell, the musician who gave me my first music lesson, said, “You must master the instrument. You cannot left the instrument be your master.”
Convergence: i’m feeling the manifestation of mastery, knowing and finding the notes on the finger board what do not change their location. The inspiration and focus came from the Monterrey Jazz Festival of 2017. A special thanks to John and Gerald Clayton. Common, Mr. Sippi, John Ingram, the USC Composers Collective, Linda Oh (who now has a couple of middle names) and Scott Colley, all those Tenor horn players and Mr. Heath … It’s easier to simply acknowledge everyone who attended and everyone who performed at MJF 2017. Thank you for helping me to find it and to manifest the freedom that elicits the “Bravo.” Special thanks to Francois Rabbath, David Allen Moore, Ray Brown (yes, I checked him out in Santa Monica a long time ago), Victor Wooten, and the deep list of humanity to evaporate the illusions of mind — particularly the political illusion.
I’m 18 years old now — fourteen years plus four — psychologically speaking, as a musician.